Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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