You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
