Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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