Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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