She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Randomize