If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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