That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
He told me they were just razor bumps!
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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