Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I want to fling myself into the sun
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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