Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
