She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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