cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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