she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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