i can't believe i had my finger in that
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
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