Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
