is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
