i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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