"it" just moved
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Randomize
