conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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