I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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