I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
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