Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
