Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
