Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
We got so high we made milksteak
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
