I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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