i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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