I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
