i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's