just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.