normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
