I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Congratulations! We have a period
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