New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Randomize
