The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
