how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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