At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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