I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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