apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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