friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
