I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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