We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Randomize
