is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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