He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
