thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
