Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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