There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
