Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
