The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
