Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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