i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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