So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
