id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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