worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
