Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Blow job season was short but glorious.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
