Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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