she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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