Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
