She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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