question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
