put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I am full of burrito and curiosity
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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