I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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