Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
