she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
The beer is more important than you right now.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
