i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
